Read The 5 Funniest Quotes Ever By Jose Mourinho!

You could go on all day searching various sites, and you’ll find endless instances and moments when Jose owned even the most experienced of analysts from around the globe courtesy of his witty and hilarious remarks and counters, here are noteworthy 5 of those instances in the past three seasons at Chelsea.

1. Q- How do you explain the lack of analysts on Chelsea T.V?

A.- “Remember lots of people on T.V. but no one is the Chelsea manager. See who they are Carragher-Liverpool, Lorenson- Liverpool, Thompsön-Liverpool, Hansen- Liverpool, Neville- Man United, so he’s not gonna be Liverpool. When I retire 75 years old, I become a pundit and go to defend Chelsea on televisiön.”

Oh boy, that’s some serious stuff.!

2. Following a huge victory away at the Etihad Jose was questioned!

Q.- Jose in a game like that, when the margins are so fine. What’s the kind of final message that you have for your players?

A.- “Today? Well, I didn’t speak, and that is the method that spoke to the team. I’m serious; Bill was screaming so much his in his Scottish blah blah! I didn’t understand, but the players were clapping so OK!”
(even he claps)

You can watch the video here: 

3. Before a decisive Champions Fixture against PSG,

Q.- Jose everyone remembers a famous time when you gave a Chelsea line up, and opposition(Barcelona) lines up before a huge Champions League game. Listening to what you said there PSG do what they do, and you’re going to do what you do, do you know what both starting lineups will be tomorrow?

Meanwhile, 10 years older and wiser Jose decides not to repeat his antics. He shows the journalist a blank paper.

A.- “It is the team.”
(Laughs all around)

Reporter: Can you tell us what’s on it, please? Can you read it out for us?

A.- “My team. Petr Cech, Ivanovic, Cahill, Terry and Azpilicueta.”

Reporter: And?

Jose throws the paper into the bin.
(Laughs all around)


4. Q. We saw those big confrontatiön on the sidelines this weekend during a Portugal game when big Phil Slurry punched a Serbian player.

Press officer- Oh! For god sakes! What is its relevance with Chelsea?

Reporter: I was wondering which premiership manager you would least like to face?

Jose to press officer: “He wants me to answer the question?”

Jose to the reporter: “Which one I would least like to fight? Big Sam (Allardyce – The then West Ham manager) He would kill me!”

Personally speaking, I have watched the videos hundreds of times and every time die laughing. Have a look!

You can watch the video here: 

The best one (My Personal favorite- Trust me when I say, I needed no reference to site this one because I remember precisely each and every word in the context!)
Jose absolutely torments Arsene Wenger after the Arsenal manager’s remark saying-‘ The other managers feared of failing in the race when they say they’re not in the title race.’

Jose reply: “Well! He’s a specialist in failure; I’m not. Maybe he’s right, I’m not used to failing but the reality is he’s a specialist. Eight years without a piece of silverware that’s failure, and If I do that to Chelsea, I leave London and I don’t come back.”

You can watch the video here: 

I know you guys are holding your stomach too!

If you want to write articles & share your views with your fellow Blues, contact us at –

[sc:facebook] [sc:twitter]

Now you can get all the latest Chelsea news and updates through our Android app. Download it now! Features: Chelsea News and Updates, Real time Chat with fellow Chelsea Fans, Fixtures in Local Time, Live Score Updates and many more features. Click here to download the app.

Join Our Group On Facebook